Blood Thicker Than Water?

I address the proverb “Blood is thicker than water”, an aphorism declaring that family ties are always stronger than all other relationships. I for now leave unaddressed the priorities of children obeying their progenitors, supporting them physically and financially as adults, parents likewise raising and caring only for their biological children, or the special duties just between spouses. These things are natural and expected but for a different topic.                                         The problem here is people preferring the company of their blood relatives and immediate and extended family without warrant. For example, their personalities contradict, or they have nothing in common. Yet they give each other preferential treatment or agree with their viewpoints even if they are dead wrong. Although others outside the family circle are correct in behavior and outlook, and have the same personality type, they allow those connections to evaporate.                                        99+% of people are degenerate this way. You may ask, “What’s the big deal?” The BIG DEAL is when certain people either have no family, must avoid their blood relations because they are abusive, or all their relatives shun them for unfair reasons. Society rejecting close lifetime bonds with such people only because they are not blood relatives leaves them detached. It is like everyone agreeing to allow certain people’s arms to be chopped off just because. It handicaps such people.                                        Some even bypass the idiomatic expression and directly state that family is the most important thing in life. Meaning immediate to semi-immediate genetic family. Again, that sounds great and very true. As long as you have such a family or the ability to acquire such! It may be true to the extent that such families are the chief vehicle to help us navigate through this present life.                                       Therefore, everything in one’s power should be done to create such familial bonds permanently with those who so lack, provided such construct could be mutually beneficial. Yet besides neglecting to do justice there, abandoning righteous friends, and covering for the misbehavior of immediate family members, some people follow their kin into complete ruin. Such a problem has been known and warned about since before 500 BC, such as Aesop’s fable The Thief and His Mother.                                        A modern example of kinship folly is a former friend’s mother whose daughter, very much alive, completely disowned her permanently with zero contact. But even forty years later the mother still kept the daughter’s picture prominently displayed. She also alienated everyone else besides her son. Being such a respecter of persons MUST STOP. And if it doesn’t stop in this life, from what I make of my religion, it will be forced to stop in the next. Consider the following religious texts:                                               Matthew 12:46-50: “While Jesus yet talked to the people, behold, His mother and brethren stood without, desiring to speak with Him. Then one exclaimed, ‘Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.’ But Jesus answered and said unto him, ‘Who is my mother? And who are my brethren?’ And He stretched forth His hand toward His disciples, and said, ‘Behold my mother and my brethren! For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.'” Also see Mark 3:31-35.                                        Matthew 10:37: [Jesus said] “He that loveth father or mother more than Me [who is outside your family circle] is not worthy of Me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than Me [who am outside your family circle] is not worthy of Me.” No, other people are not Jesus by any stretch of the imagination. But if you are Christian and they are even somewhat more Christlike than your immediate clan, you must honor that.                                        And from what I understand from spirituality, every human spirit is equal in value. So, unwarranted preference for those linked to you via DNA is a form of selfishness. That is, you feel they are a part of “wonderful you”, so you give them undue preference. Extreme preferential treatment essentially says that we lack free will and are completely locked into predestination. This dirty lie must be squashed. So must the dirty lie of believers in Jesus, who call one another brothers in Christ when their actions indicate the opposite.

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Finding Love?

Now I have no personal contact with any woman. However, I have money. But whenever I have connected with a woman in various degrees, I became broke. There’s a saying: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting a different result.” So we may need to change behavior and thinking patterns regardless what society says. The Beatles sang “All You Need is Love”, referring to love by the opposite sex, while they drove a jewel-encrusted Rolls Royce. So they didn’t even believe their own shit.

Half of all marriages end in divorce, so love failed there. Other couples stay together but fight and argue for years. Others remain together just for the sake of the children, financial support, or other perceived need. So only 25% of people find love through marriage. But by hooking up with a prostitute, stripper, or suchlike, the chances of you finding love are ZERO percent. And if a young woman’s boyfriend insists on their being sexually active, yet refuses to honor her desire to marry, there’s no love there either.

The fact is, most people are simply not loving people. So trying to find love through a romantic partner is like everyone trying to obtain a best friend who enjoys anchovy pizza, or pineapple on pizza. Only a small percentage of people like such things, and you cannot make everybody want them. Same with love. So it behooves some men to go their own way apart from women, and try to find happiness and fulfillment another way. For many people, marriage would be good. Simply don’t marry in order to receive love. Do so to find fulfillment another way, such as companionship and/or teamwork. Then love may possibly develop.

95% of parents do love their children, and 95% of children do love their parents. But it shouldn’t be your burden to change those who don’t; it is what it is. People choose to be how they are. I have attended different group therapy sessions, church groups, and self-help groups. People professed love for one another, everyone hugged, called one another brother and sister; some cried. These things touched my heart. I felt sensations of trust, caring, and sharing. Yet after the initial high wears off, created by a built up crescendo of emotions, groups fizzle out. People grow cold, drop out, stop calling, and move away. Larger organizations also consistently fail, such as the 1960s so-called decade of love hippie communities.

Considering our fallen nature, extremely few have an abundance of love inside them. Love groups, emotional support groups, religious groups, and community groups arouse the needy. Groups may begin with good intentions, but most people, when their needy feelings or financial needs are satisfied, or they find something else, quit. Although certain people get satisfaction from these groups, what proves that someone likes you is their willingness to see you outside the designated group. Besides group members often failing to connect outside these groups, sometimes the groups disband completely. Society’s attempts to foster love and community have failed miserably.

For most of my life, nobody called, visited, wrote, e-mailed me, or sent birthday or Christmas cards, which pattern never ended. That, coupled with being single, estranged from my cousins, and being an only child was exceptionally challenging. A notable exception was a man without a car calling my work, having an employee chase me down so he could ask for a ride. This behavior is typical; lottery winners become suddenly inundated with telephone calls and letters from people who have not spoken to them in years.

I did manage to connect with about twenty or so seemingly wonderful friendly people throughout my lifetime, both male and female. But later in life, after taking an early retirement, and feeling lonely, I went out of my way to extend myself to those important people in my past, contacting them on social network sites, or calling or trying to visit them personally. I was also careful not to discuss anything controversial. Surprisingly, none of them showed any interest in me, as if I was a stranger. And I’m in my fifties. So young people, be prepared for how people truly are.

If everyone made it a priority to BE loving instead of seeking it, and not worrying how others felt about you, the world would be radically different. Truthfully, there are some whom nobody loves except God. Love is not something hidden and mysterious; love is a shining light. Those who love others show ongoing interest in them. They don’t abandon them or write them off. In conclusion: do NOT seek love from other humans; NEVER. If you are bound and determined to find love, attempt to find it from God, whatever your concept of God might be. And if you don’t believe in God, you may use Nature or the Universe as your higher power.

Regardless, the ones that NEED love are the various animal species, since humans are crushing our planet with overpopulation. Some endangered species only number several hundred worldwide, while humans number 8 billion. TERRIBLE. So do whatever you can to help. If you can see God through Nature, great. If you just appreciate Nature for its own sake, that’s cool too. Regardless, remember what I’ve written and take it to heart.