Book Review: “Fearmorphosis”

I present the latest highly imaginative and complex book authored by philosopher Desh Subba: FEARMORPHOSIS. Again, his core underlying philosophy of “fearism” (that sentient beings are primarily guided by self-preservation impulses, whether such impulses are natural and beneficial or manifest via ignorance and paranoia) underpins and interweaves within his book’s topics. Here he emphasizes how this impulse, coupled with other elements, transforms one’s life. I now summarize each distinct section using my own perspective:

{Part 1—Myth of Sisyphus: ~ORIGIN~ In Greek mythology, Sisyphus was the founder and king of Corinth. Hades punished him for cheating death by forcing him to roll a gigantic boulder uphill only for it to roll back down whenever it neared the top, repeating this action for eternity. Although preposterous if meant as literal truth, I see it as grandiose hyperbole. Through that supposition it influenced modern thought. Namely, tasks that are both laborious and futile are therefore labeled Sisyphean.

~MODERN LIFE APPLICATIONS~ A) True Sisyphean situations: These include drug addiction and gambling addiction, since they cause ongoing misery and wasted labor since wages support the vices. They also include endlessly chasing women. That’s because certain men are unable to attract an appropriate female, and through society’s pressure enslave themselves to this millstone, losing time, money, and sanity. Recognizing oneself as a Sisyphus allows escape, whether via aggressive addiction treatment, finding peace in the celibate single life, or other appropriate action.

B) Faux-Sisyphean situations: They include the false notion that normal productive jobs are a complete waste, leading one to choose a life of crime or vagrancy, or to take shortcuts or do sloppy work while tackling projects, resulting in low quality outcomes or failure. Again, realizing the truth and being willing to act upon it solves the problem.}

{Part 2—Panopticons: ~ORIGIN~ A panopticon is a penal institution, whose design originated in the late 18th century. Its architecture consists of a rotunda with a central inspection house having viewing portholes or windows at every critical geometric angle. The purpose was to allow all prisoners therein to be observed by a single security guard. Although impossible for a single watchman to observe all inmates at once or at all times, the inmates cannot know when they’re being watched. Theoretically, it motivates them to act as though they are always watched, effectively compelling them to self-regulate.

~MODERN LIFE APPLICATIONS~ A) Scarecrow panopticons: For example, some people have promoted the nonsense idea that governments spy on citizens through devices such as Siri or Alexa robots and suchlike, resulting in failure to harness useful technology. B) Righteous panopticons: The ever-increasing prevalence of security cameras qualifies, if used to deter crime. And certainly, GOD’s all-seeing EYE trumps every panopticon construct, as He is truly all-observing and perfectly good.

C) Unrighteous panopticons: This includes every imaginable group of people, from immediate family up to everyone on our planet, if their position cannot be backed with objective facts. Conceding to popular opinion or peer pressure is never wise. Quoting Saint Augustine: “Right is right even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong even if everyone is doing it.” Recognizing the difference between these variations leads to wisdom and proper application.}

{Part 3—Scapegoats: ~ORIGIN~ The Hebrew Tanakh contains numerous historical accounts of animal sacrifice (biblical types or foreshadowing). The LORD, in a way that we cannot fully comprehend, decreed that such expedient sacrifices (scapegoats that were sometimes literal goats) were necessary to sanctify unto the purifying of sinful man.

When humanity was fertile enough to receive the supreme antitype, the second person in the godhead was sent to Gaia Earth as a willing scapegoat and ultimate sacrifice which provided cleansing from and forgiveness of all sins, contingent upon choosing to serve the living God. The historical account of this Lord Jesus Christ is documented in the Christian “New Testament.”

~MODERN LIFE APPLICATIONS~ A) Legitimate scapegoats: The only just examples I can conceive of are the aforementioned Bible stories. Embracing their truth is paramount, superseding every worldly concern.

B) Unrighteous scapegoating: This includes anyone who has an obvious difference and whose mistreatment is predicated upon it, whether as an individual (often an autistic man) or as a pariah class (such as the Palestinians or Indian Dalits), for the scapegoater’s real or imagined benefit. This sometimes includes parents assigning perpetual blame to their child in order to redirect their exasperation away from their own self-made marital problems. In attempt to justify warfare and plunder, one country or Allied group will affix an evil moniker to another country or Axis.}

{Part 4:—Capitals: Herein Mr. Subba explains that unfortunately, much of life is dominated by politico-economic concerns since most people deify appetite. Instead of succumbing to the prevailing polarization, he rightly criticizes both binary opposites: Marxism, with its utopia communism, and Capitalism, with its utopia laissez-faireism. For example, Marxist’s lack of any spiritual panopticon, whose theophobia is motivated by the desire for big government to be idolized.

Therefore, everyone would be dependent on a draconian State (most of which history tells us have been malicious), without interference from any ideas of higher authority. Another example is Desh going beyond just acknowledging the existence of some unsavory elements such as crony Capitalism, but spotlighting the existence of vampire Capitalism, and that all forms of Capitalism are very problematic. Perhaps our author will suggest a solution to this dilemma in the future.}

{Part 5:—De-metamorphosis: Here our author extensively references the book Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. Therein the main character Gregor Samsa is pressured into acquiring an especially demanding and unpleasant job because his parents and sister do not work, and he feels obligated to support them. Since his worries led him into a semi-Sisyphean situation, closely monitored by family and society, Gregor had become a “fear Sisyphus being watched by panopticons.” Desh emphasizes the fact that men are regularly used as mere commodities without humanity.

Then one day, Gregor’s physique transformed to resemble a giant harmful looking insect. This masking ironically unmasked society’s true motivations. Desh also realizes that instead of seeing this unusual work as merely reflecting the author’s personality, “Kafkaesque needs to be reread from a scapegoat perspective”, he exclaims. That is, people are stupid enough to fail to recognize the true soul beyond their differences, and stupidly marginalize others even if they would benefit from them. Hopefully our author will pinpoint solutions to these problems henceforth.}

I shall expound no further, as to not cancel the element of pleasant surprise, nor to impinge upon Mr. Subba’s exact intentions (at least not purposely or excessively). To help prevent readers from getting lost in a dark forest of opaque profundities, I recommend them familiarizing themselves with mythology and renowned philosophers, both Eastern and Western, and Desh’s touchstone book Philosophy of Fearism, as prerequisites.

*** K C Sunbeam, author and video maker ***

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Son VS. Shitty Parents: A Written Exchange

A mother wrote to her adult son who has some handicaps, on behalf of both parents (SP). She titled it “Our Responses-Your Concerns.” The son (S) responded: “I agree with most sections. However, arrogant sounding language suggests that anyone with different living standards is in a dump. That’s how it comes across. And I don’t want anyone to clean my room. It’s done without my permission, invades my personal space, and small but important parts/pieces have been vacuumed up. And since it only needs vacuuming once a month not weekly, it’s imposed on me. As for laundry, since I didn’t do it as fast as expected and when I put my clothes in the washer/dryer my parents would shut the machines off, I was stopped from doing laundry. Control problem.”

SP: “Conflict Management…………” S: “What fantasy universe do you live in, as you exacerbate conflicts, not help.” SP: “Issues with the writers group sending nasty e-mails”. S: “They were nasty first, ganged up on me, and due to my mother violating my privacy by revealing my last name, phone number, and address, they were able to send police and have the librarian badmouth me on the phone. There was no complaint against them because their political preference matched the librarian’s while mine opposed.” SP: “Conflict with a library worker who tried to help you, but you sent nasty e-mails.” S: “I was coerced into working with her, who hooked me up with a scam website, which wasted my time and made me lose $200.” SP: “Conflict with Mr. Fillmore.” S: “??? I had a good relationship with him the entire time we worked together.”

SP: “Conflict with the health clinic when you sent a nasty e-mail accusing them of a crime.” S: “You people can’t even get your lie straight, as the original lie was accusing me of threatening the doctor, when the only thing I did was say he was an a-hole, which he is.” SP: “Your dad had to beg and plead with them to take you back. S: “WRONG, and another form of domineering, as I didn’t want this clinic and their substandard attitude and service. SP: “Nasty e-mails to the woman we picked up at the bus station.” S: Just one letter, no e-mails, plus you don’t even know what I typed, and I learned my lesson to never interact with a bipolar person. No harassment just venting. Stop lying. Plus, she subsequently tried to reconnect, which connection I turned down.”

SP: “Conflicts with the therapist you were seeing and were terminated because you sent nasty e-mails.” S: 1) “I never sent an e-mail but blasted him on the phone. Stop lying. 2) I never wanted to see any headshrinker but was browbeaten into seeing them. 3) If parents loved their children, they wouldn’t try to forcibly change them via reprogramming attempts with the phony pseudoscience of psychiatry……….

4) The psychiatrist is a well-documented abuser, with Internet complaints from over fifteen people, in addition to a criminal complaint which dragged him into court. And they, in conjunction with dad, lead to armed police beating down my door, along with an ambulance and workers to take me away, just because I didn’t answer my phone and while I sat quietly minding my own business. This outrageous cruelty was inexcusable and remains an issue, as it’s still explained away without as much as the tiniest apology.”

SP: “We’ve had to deal with many other issues like these.” S: “Which you caused, since I’m always forced to deal with the people my parents choose, which always have the most incompatible personalities, since my parents have the worst personalities, and always choose those most like them, besides convicts of violent crimes. (I can read people within thirty seconds of meeting them). And by forcefully selecting housing against my wishes and having the exact opposite preferences in housing has always caused me to be unhappy with the housing. (Forcing me to be blown out with noise, and unable to avoid problem landlords, tenants, and situations, because of being housed in front of the building and/or in exposed or problem areas.”

S: “And because of this, everyone knows my parent’s exact address and phone number, plus the odd last name that one cannot forget. Hence the ease in which to drag you into conflicts. So, you’ve either caused the conflict or made it worse. Plus, checking up on me with landlords. That’s abnormal and makes me look like a troublemaker, so I’m under a microscope with the landlord/s looking to find fault and likely warning tenants about me, so they too are provoked into finding fault.”

SP: “We’re tired, depleted, and have our own care needs now.” S: “Apparently not tired/ depleted enough, since there is a loud pounding on my second-floor door on occasion, plus an incident where my floor was hit so hard underneath it sounded like a bomb went off.” SP: “You never maintain anything and have no organizational skills.” S: “Only what you prioritize as needing to maintain and organize. I could say the same about you guys since I have different priorities. Opinions are like buttholes: everyone has one.”

SP: “You spoke to the Sugar Hill manager in an angry voice and said you had a gun.” S: You and manager Ms. Eichmann are filthy liars; I never spoke to her verbally concerning that; I wrote. And you guys can’t even get your lie to make sense, as it would be absurd to threaten a shriveled old woman who was over twice my age and less than half my size with a combat handgun. However, firearms are appropriate against strong young men who threaten with weapons, especially if they can catch you half asleep standing over you as threatened. And the only ones threatening with firearms around here are the local pig force. And spreading the lie that I committed such assault is itself illegal and a sue-able offense.”

SP: “Evidently you were inconsiderate of the lower-level tenant, so he continued to complain to the landlord. That’s not a trivial complaint.” S: HOW DARE YOU accuse me of being a noisemaker when I must endure 100 times the noise from others, with the house being under construction, leaf blowers, wood-chippers, chainsaws, loud vacuums, jackhammering, etc. And the landlord should have fixed the old creaky stairs and floor so it wouldn’t be noisy. I should have the right to walk.” SP: “Living below someone else might help so others below are not disturbed.” S: “Don’t insult my intelligence by acting like I couldn’t have thought about that before. I’ve already decided that I like upper floors. And I regularly hear dad pounding his feet when he walks below.”

SP: “Your security in an apartment and having less conflict with landlords or tenants is to respond to others in a civil manner……..” S: “Wow, what hypocrisy! While you guys sometimes start out mean (to store clerks, shoppers, etc.), I always start out nice. But being nice doesn’t work on those with no respect for you, who are intent on taking advantage.” SP: ……………keeping yourself in control and not damaging other people’s property, etc.” S: “I’m quite in control since I can do exceedingly more than just damage a bit of property. Antagonizing people is how wars start worldwide.”

SP: “Per Stirpes [term from the trust], not knowing what the future would hold, had to include any possible descendants you might have.” S: “It’s common knowledge that men in their late fifties who never had children before never will. Unless they’re rich. The point is, it’s meant to put my female cousins and their families before me. Am I on my aunt and uncles’ trust or will? No, so there. They should be off it, since they already have three stable means of financial support.”

SP: “Reference to treat someone as if he were dead: This phrase doesn’t refer to you.” S: “Don’t twist the words around. Not someone. ‘Treat Mario as if he was dead.’ Do you know who Mario is? I researched this on the Internet; no such legal term was found. Sounds like a scam to disinherit me and give all the money to the female cousins because of radical feminism. And saying that Ms. Boarstein is to be my complete boss and the captain of my ship is deeply offensive. Over my dead body or hers. Plus, she’s a stranger, plus younger than me, plus men should be the authority over women not the other way around. So, it’s also perverted.

SP: “You come to us whenever there’s a problem.” S: Arrogant presumption, since if I ever solved a problem on my own, you’d never know about it. And quite false.” SP: “We do and have done so much for you.” S: “I highly appreciate that. But at what price? Consider: Whenever there has been a conflict or friction between my parents and anyone else (including strangers) I’m always portrayed as wrong, and the other party always portrayed as right. Other parents don’t do that to their children; you have problems……………

“My self-esteem is not so low that I would be tricked into believing that others have been 100% right and I’ve been 0% right and 100% wrong in every disagreement. Instead, I recognize that I have been used as a scapegoat for my parent’s satisfaction. Then the decades-constant lying, criticizing, and barking orders. Then the occasional use of cruel and demeaning insults, gaslighting, gossiping about, second-guessing, guilt-tripping, throwing items out without my consent, are so selfish that you resent hearing about other’s problems, controlling where/what I live/eat/wear, withholding important information, manipulating, and other means of control.”

“My truth: Degenerated society will never treat anyone like me fairly, simply due to handicaps and extreme personal differences. I cannot possibly change the circumstances. Your “truth”: You’re great, most people are good, and I’m what is wrong with the world. Believe what you want, that’s cool, if it makes you happy. As long as it’s expressed elsewhere and doesn’t involve me. I do NOT want to hear any more of this, since I will never change, and you will never change. SP: “This is all we can or will do.” S: “Here’s what else you MUST do: After I move out, do your best to keep your circle of people separate from mine, since I’m not faced with your type of people and vice versa, and so my business does not become yours and vice versa. And no phoning or visiting. This will solve these conflicts! We can keep in contact via the Rose Care agency.”

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Why I Don’t Work

When I say I don’t work I only mean that I ended regular full time employment at age 40. Since those like me who are on disability do not seem to need it, I will explain: Though highly intelligent, I was born with physical problems, and severe learning disability that got progressively got worse. I could only graduate High School via a special program for problem students. I did not go to college since no college could accommodate my needs. From there I worked many jobs, but could only secure very low paying jobs. Half the time I could not even find work until my father stepped in for me. For example, one time my father gave my manager money for Christmas. Another company hired me because my father’s company was funding theirs.

A boss from yet another company hired me because his child was enrolled at my father’s day care center. After my dad retired from full time work he told some security companies that if they hired me he would work for them part time in addition. After he would quit, they would find an excuse to fire me. Then there were cases of mistreatment and discrimination. For instance, I was fired for supposedly attaching and raising the American flag upside down on a flagpole, which I would never do, while a recent Muslim immigrant from another shift had the same job and was likely to have done it. In another company, while standing on a very high ladder, another employee shook the ladder to scare me into thinking I might fall.

And I had an especially hard time understanding foreign accents, making it hard to communicate with Mexican and Indian employees, which made them angry at me. At a company I worked for the longest, fellow employees kept blowing big farts, which I had to smell and breathe. Office people mixed their garbage with the discarded paper I was to feed into the shredder. It had lots of boogered Kleenex and old food which small flies circled around. Once here was even a dead mouse. They would not stop even after they were told repeatedly. In a number of companies employees would go out of their way to get me in trouble for minor rule violations, while rule violations of others were ignored.

Then there were safety issues. Once before even getting to work, my car was crushed by a bus due to my driving error. Although the bus driver lacked the sense to slow down, seeing I was slightly over the median, only I got a ticket. And no damage to the bus. There was an incident where I was responsible for opening and closing big shop doors. I came within a fraction of a second of smashing the top of a truck with a door. At that company, for different incidents, I got two warning notices at once. One for accidentally putting a 460 gauge rod into a 320 gauge compressor. The supervisor complained that the compressor could have spit out metal pieces like deadly bullets. Yet the company did not care enough to make sure the machine had its proper 320 gauge head, to make it impossible to insert a bigger rod.

Instead they substituted a bigger bore for the missing on, creating the likelihood of eventual error. My other warning was for correcting my mistake of putting the wrong rods in the furnace when it was set on a different temperature to heat treat different rods. The supervisor said that after I removed the hot rods, they came close to an electrical box, which if struck would have caused an explosion and destroyed part of the company. Yet I never removed rods until I was taught that by a fellow employee. He would also tease me by pulling out a 2,000 degree hot rod and chasing me with it. He was never caught or reprimanded. Years later in a different department, I was taking caffeine pills to help cope with my twelve hour days of hard physical labor and no air conditioning.

I accidentally overdosed, became extremely ill, and could not go to work the next day. This stressed others in my department. In his haste under the heavier workload, an employee was wrestling with a heavy machine, which fell on him, scalped him, and put him into a coma. While working security at another job, I found much blood smeared about. It was a freak accident where somebody collapsed right in the middle of a tiny staircase which I failed to find in a timely fashion. Though I called it on they practically tried to blame me for murder, then fired me. At yet another company I got the ends of two fingers crushed to a bloody pulp in a punch press. It was due to my mind wandering, and also because the man who set up the machine did not screw the guards down low enough.

After I went to the hospital, they thought to blame me for lowering the guards to where they should be in order to avoid blame for the accident, although they realized that it would be impossible since I had to hold my crushed fingers together with my other hand to avoid having my fingers falling off and bleeding to death. They finally witnessed the set up man tampering with another machine and fired him. At yet another company still I was simply sorting metal washers. But I was reprimanded because I mixed two different washers together, which looked identical, yet one had a different tolerance. A supervisor told me that I could have caused people’s deaths if the washers with lower internal strength were used to hold a trailer together.

Then there was the ongoing aggravation that my learning disability caused others. Listing all the troubling incidents could make this post ten times longer. Then I was occasionally harassed by married people, both men and women, because I had nothing to do with relationships with women. That’s even though no single woman at any company had any interest in me. Then there were conflicts simply due to my unusual personality. Finally I developed a permanent and serious nerve disorder, likely in part due to heart damage from the caffeine pill overdose. I get panic attacks which are debilitating without emergency medication, and my sleep is regularly disturbed.

So for those who complain that I’m cheating the government, SHUT UP. You likely wouldn’t even want me to work if you had to work with me. So instead of adding even more scorn on those whom wicked society refuses to accommodate and treats like inferior beings, stop treating people who are different as scapegoats. In fact, do your part to reverse the situation. And concern yourself with the tens of thousands who are clearly welfare cheats, don’t be one of them, and try doing something about it.